bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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