Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
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