If that was your dad, he is hot
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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