I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
