Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
