Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
