Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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