i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
