wrigley field is MILF paradise
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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