Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If I die, sorry about rent.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
