the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize