Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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