i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
