his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
