I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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