I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
