I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
