girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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