Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
