Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize