If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
