ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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