I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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