how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
