the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
