The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
