Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
