I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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