let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
