Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
