I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
