I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
