is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
