she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
it's like heaven, but drunker
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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