Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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