Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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