you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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