i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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