my vag is so smooth its legendary
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
