Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
