So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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