8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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