I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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