You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
