How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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