I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
