Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
