The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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