Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
