these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize