remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
