ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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