Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
