weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
