I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
