It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
