TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
