id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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