This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
