ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
