weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
